blogguerz

GoFundMe — Help Liz(Mama) and Guerz Prevent EVICTION 😟

let me start things off by saying: please, PLEASE, if somebody, ANYBODY happens to read this in time, my mom and i could really use a helping hand or too in this abysmally trying time. i’ll let what she had wrote in the GoFundMe post below here:

I am creating this fundraiser for myself and my son as we face the very real threat of eviction. We have fallen behind on rent, are currently in arrears, and have already had to appear in court. My son lives with severe mental illness, and this situation has been incredibly hard on both of us. I receive SSI and, despite actively applying and going on interviews, I am still unemployed. I am doing everything I can to improve our situation, including recently signing up on Care.com to work as an elderly companion. The constant stress, sleepless nights, and worry have also begun to affect my health, including my high blood pressure.

I am asking for help because the funds from this fundraiser will go toward covering our rent arrears and helping us avoid eviction, so my son and I can remain in our home and have some much-needed stability. Our rent arrears are due by September 15, 2026, which makes this especially urgent. I have already reached out to my brother and sister, but they are no longer able or willing to help. It is very difficult for me to ask, but I truly do not want to lose our home. Any support, whether through a donation or by sharing this fundraiser, would mean so much to us. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to read our story and for any kindness you can offer during this overwhelming time.”

welp… fucking poet irony or some shit, innit? RIGHT when the struggle bus i’ve been on had seemed to be pulling closer to a final junction to let me off, BAM. mind you a struggle bus tour that i’ve been enduring for just over a decade now. I guess I just have to keep holding on and hope for clearer skies ahead. errr, you know, FUCK that, i fucking know that i have to keep fighting through the chaos, because someday it will make sense. Maybe it’s just about finding some small peace in the chaos to keep going. maybe it’s about learning to accept the noise and still find my way forward.

as i’ve been saying/believing/living lately:

between my mom being laid off and struggling to find work and me being medically unfit for work due to falling victim to grief. losing the battle with one’s own sorrow. mind and life unraveled. losing a grip on reality and identity. succumbing to a the persistent thick fog of an existence of barely doing more than the act of reprising, day-in/day-out.

i literally experienced an unfortunately raw case of time dilation. blinked away a little over a decade’s amount of time. a waking, barely walking coma. lacking motivation to be. the hope someday to rediscover a spark of purpose and joy just gone and *POOF* evaporated one day. lost my identity and became a Despondent Derek, a Hopeless Henry, Minster of a Misery Missionary.

but enough of the wallowing in what once was and never will be again. i REFUSE to become that once more. I am determined to rebuild and find my new beginning.

i HAVE been rebuilding, and still am.

i AM finding my new beginnings, and still am.

steadfast. upwards and onwards.

as i told my mom yesterday, “these are the moments in life when the world is telling you, telling us, “crumble.” this is our time to plant our feet, dig our heels in, and say, ‘no, YOU.” 😤

sooo yeah, tomorrow morning, 3rd Spravato(Esketamine) sesh. can’t. fucking. WAIT! ^_^

i’ll post an update about what all has been going on with me and as far as guerz.lol, because oh boyo, a fuck ton of implementations i can’t wait go live with!

until then:

current mood: 🥺 scared, but determined

currently listening to: